Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I have compiled a small list of things I wish were on Froogle but aren't, but got stuck on number 6 as there are few things that aren't already on Froogle. Nevertheless, here it is:

Things that should be on Froogle but aren't:

1) Narrator Ball
2) +2 Sword of Stealth
3) Man bathroom sign
4) Morphine ampoules
5) Chinese fighting fish

You see? No six. Nothing came. If anyone has any ideas, please post them in the cmments and I will update the post as ideas are presented.

These nice little gems were sent to me by a dear friend some of you may know as Adam.

By J.A. Lindon

One day when Mugg the Missing Link was prowling through the woods,
In search of wives and mammoth-meat and other usefull goods,
Whom should he see, on pushing out from deep arboreal shade,
But Ogg, the Paleolithic Man, cross-legged in a glade.

This Ogg had made a neat array of pebbles on the ground,
In number they were twenty-one, the most that could be found,
And Ogg, with one red-hairy hand pressed to his bony brow,
Was staring at hese pebbles like a ruminating cow.

o o o o o o o
o o o o o o o
o o o o o o o

Thought Mugg - for he was Primitive - I should be very dull
To lose this opportunity of busting in his skull;
My club weighs half a hundredweigh, he doesn't wear a hat
(And here he wondered) Yes, but what the devil is he at?

For Ogg was touching pebbles and then prodding at his digits,
Until the weirdness of it all afflicted Mugg with fidgets:
"Invented any goodish wheels just recently?" he hollered,
And doubled up in merriments, his face raw-beefy coloured.

Ogg looked at him in pity, then he drummed upon his chest:
"I've don a Think!" he bellowed "Monkey Mugg. I've done a think!
And I would write it down, but no one's yet invented ink."

Mugg moved a little closer, and his eyes and mouth were round,
And stared in trepidation at those pebbles on the ground.
Ogg pointed with a nailed red-hairy sausage at the rows
And said, "Three people's hand-plus-two is hand-plus-feet-plus-nose."

oooo oooo oooo oooo oooo
o + o + o = o o + ooooO Oooo + A
o o o
o o o

"And this is hand-plus-two of people's three-for-each-by-name,
So three times hand-plus-two and hand-plus-to time three's the same!"
Mugg scratched his matted hairy head, not knowing what to say.
Said Ogg, "It's all made clear by this rectangular array."

o o o
o o o
o o o o o o o o o o
o o o o o o o = o o o
o o o o o o o o o o
o o o
o o o

"Three rows of hand-plus-two and hand-plus-two short rows of three
are just the same according to which way you look, you see?
In brief, a tripe heptad is the same as seven trebles,
And may quite possibly be true of other things than pebbles."

Mugg viewed it from all angles, then he gave a raucous belch
And trod on a Batrachian that perished with a sqelch.
He growled, "I do not understand these arithmetic quirks,
But maybe we should try to discover if it works."

So home they went to get their wives and drag them by the hair,
For Mugg had feet-plus-hand-plus-four, while Ogg had just a pair;
But what with all their screeching and their running every way,
At first they would not form a neat rectangular array.

So Ogg he then positioned each by holding of her down
While Mugg with mighty club in hand, just dinted in her crown;
And when they had them all in place, like pebbles, they could see
That three times hand-plus-two in wives was hand-plus-two times three!

o<= o<= =>o =>o o<= o<= =>o

=>o o<= o<= =>o o<= o<= =>o

o<= =>o =>o o<= =>o o<= =>o

Then Ogg he roared in high delight, cartwheeling to and fro
(Carts had not been invented, but he did it just to show!),
And Mugg he grinned a shaggy grin and slapped a hairy thigh
And said, "It's true, as sure as Pterodactyls learned to fly!"

And then they feasted on their wives in unuxorious zest,
Exept for one whose skull was rather thicker than the rest,
And she was sent to dig a pit and bury every bone,
While Mugg and Ogg went off to find a flat unsullied stone.

Then Ogg he sharpened up a flint and scratched upon the rock:
First Arithmetic Theorem - by Ogg the son of Mok.
He drew his little diagram, and proved, with QED,
That three times hand-plus-two of x is hand-plus-two times three.

But Mugg the Missing Link grew bored, and left him there alone,
Still scratching with his silly flint upon his silly stone;
And belching, plunged back in the woods on feet toe's simple fives,
In search of wives and mammoth-meat, particularly wives!

Practical Mathematical Application:

He's teaching her arithmetic,
He said it was his mission,
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice
and said, "Now that's addition."

As he added smack by smack
In silent satisfaction,
She sweetly gave the kisses back
and said, "Now that's subtraction."

Then he kissed her, she kissed him,
Without an explanation,
And both together smiled and said,
"That's multiplication."

Then Dad appeared upon the scene and
Made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away
And said, "That's long division!"

This one is for HaMekashef, or whatever he is calling himself these days.

A graduate student at Trinity
Computed the square of infinity.
But it gave him the fidgets
To put down the digits,
So he dropped math and took up divinity.

More can be found here.


Monday, August 22, 2005



Saturday, August 20, 2005

Pretty Canadian
You scored 90 Canada speak and 82 Canadianess!
You know a lot about us. You probably know someone who owns a Ski-Doo up at their cottage.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 66% on Canada speak
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 52% on Canadianess
Link: The Ultimate Canadian Test written by echox2 on Ok Cupid


Thursday, August 18, 2005

My pirate name is:

Dirty Sam Kidd

You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.


Tuesday, August 02, 2005

I have tendonitis, so this post will be short as typing isn't exactly great for it. At least I have the week off work. Everyone should go see the play called The Bald Soprano starting on the 5th (thats when I'll be going) at the studio theatre. Most of my drama buddies are in it and it should be awesome. If you can, and want to, you should get tickets for the System of a Down show in Montreal. My seats are way up in the grey section, but it should still be awesome. I'll bring a telescope or something. I hear they are going to fix the bridge near Bishop's, you know, the one that has gaping holes patched up with road signs on the sidewalk part. They are going to start fixing it in September when all the students return. Anyone else find this idea a mind-numbingly bad one? They have over a month until school starts. Fix it now. Sam.


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