Monday, November 29, 2004
I recieved an email from someone I don't know today, at least I don't think I know them as I didn't recognize the email address, though that doesn't really mean anything. The point is that in the email was one of those stupid horoscope things, but this one involved trees and so piqued my curiosity. It turns out I am a pine tree and the description is quite accurate from my view of myself. Tell me if you differ:
"Pine Tree (Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry,not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance."
Summary in seven words: I'm a bit bored with them. You?
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Scenario: A man, about 65-70 years old with greying hair and a heavily lined face stands up to the microphone before the congregation of his local church. He is reading from the book and appears to be a bit nervous or shifty, impossible to tell which from my vantage point. He is stepping from foot to foot as he speaks the words, not too loudly; more as a timid would talk to a woman he has never before met. He is reading, "... the sacred sacrifice of the virgin ... uh, I mean Virgil..." Interesting thing to accidentally say in his position. I wonder if that’s how it was back in the day. Almost as good as the time the speaker randomly opened the bible and read the first verse he saw which happened to be Judges 16:1 (If you don't have a bible around leave me a message in the comments and I'll post what it says). A man sitting in the pew in front of me, he happens to be my regular pastor, turns around and whispers to me, "I wonder how many of these Virgils they have." Interesting service.
Friday, November 26, 2004
Telemarketer: "...It will protect your credit rating"
T: "By having your account open"
Me: "It is open now, so how does your program change anything?"
T: "it improves your credit rating if you carry a balance"
Me: "I don't even use the card, have never done so. I don't carry a balance."
T: "It improves your credit rating..."
He must have said that at least three more times during the next thirty seconds I gave him to start making sense and to stop mumbling. Another notable quote when I asked if I would have to pay anything for it: "It doesn't cost anything but you have to pay only $0.99 per month if you use it." If you are going to argue, at least try to make sense when you do it. I used to get in trouble for telling customers the truth as a telemarketer. Why can't there be more telemarketers like me out there? Unemployed. Did I say that?
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Summary in seven words: Thanks to everyone who came. Letterman? No?
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Sunday, November 21, 2004
-a 5 kilometer walk home is only fun if you run into people on the way
-bass is fun
-Ryan makes the best coffee ever
-snow is stupid
-poker is fun even if you aren't playing
-cello cases aren't suited to basses
-the pyramid is a fun shape
Friday, November 19, 2004
Teacher: The money rate of a country is kept at a stable rate.
Me: By Oompa Loompas.
You can see how much amusement things like this can provide in a less than interesting class. The other way we made things interesting is that we did was to draw/scribble/write amusing things on a paper between us. If I explain what was written/drawn/scribbled on the paper it might ilicit the same response another of my friends had in regards to us after seeing it which was that we were crazy, mostly me, something which was reiterated by another later in the day. This does not distress me as it would some for various reasons I don't care to get into at the moment. Anyways, below is a bit of something I found on the net here, that I found quite amusing and so will post it here, illegal (I don't think so) or not:
Wasabi Peas and Relevant Mathematical Concerns
Submitted by Michael Liska
There are a few dozen reliable reported cases of "feral children," such as the Jalpaiguri Bear-Girl or the Sheep-Boy of Ireland, throughout human history. If you are not one of these, then at some point in your development it was emphasized to you that there is a significant distinction between "food" and "snacks." The complicated mathematics involved in determining if an edible is indeed a "food" or a "snack," through repetition and enforcement, have become second nature. Nutritious plus legume equals, obviously, "food," as does bread plus cold cuts plus cheeses, or meat plus potatoes. Caramel plus nougat, icing plus cake, and others of this variety, all equal "snack." It is clear that any equation composed entirely of "food" elements will end up being "food," and any equation that contains any "snack" element (consider: raisins plus chocolate; hamburgers plus chocolate; well, anything plus chocolate) will be relegated instead to the "snack" category.
What, then, is the explanation for Wasabi Peas? Two ingredients: peas (food) and wasabi (condiment). And food plus condiment, as we know, still equals food. (Condiments never change the value of an equation, unless, of course, they are "snack" condiments such as hot melted butterscotch, which wasabi is not. I wouldn't put wasabi on ice cream. Maybe someone has. Maybe the Japanese do, I don't know.) But how then do we reconcile this with the decidedly "snack"-like characteristics they exhibit? They are small, crunchy, and delicious, and are capable of being eaten out of a bag, by the handful, late at night in one's underpants. They leave a slightly sticky film on your hands that must be wiped on your pants (or leg). It seems that Wasabi Peas are the very thing marketing companies have been fraudulently claiming their products to be for years—something with the nutritional value of a "food" and the aesthetic qualities of a "snack." They're great.
Note: The health-food store where I discovered them also sells something called "Wasabi Party Mix," which is really just a whole bunch of regular party mix with a few Wasabi Peas thrown in. I do not extend my recommendation to this product, as it causes a Cracker Jack effect, and you will find yourself fruitlessly digging through the inexpensive stuff, like pretzels and little sesame crackers, for the precious few Wasabi Peas, which will be your only source of pleasure.
Songs of the select time period: Cranes by Warsaw Village Band (The music video can be found/downloaded/watched in the gallery section) and My Number by Teagan and Sarah and.
Summary in seven words: But seven words is just so limiting!
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Just got back from Cabaret, the music department's open mike Halloween party (I think) where my band played its songs (well, two of them) for the first time in front of an audience. There were a few people bobbing their heads and "movin' with the groovin'" near the front, but apparently little but the drums were heard, which is a shame since I thought I played rather well and what I heard of the others sounded good also. I was told we had an interesting and unique sound, which could go either way in terms of what he intended. The singer from The Stairway Movement complimented me on our set, but Ex Nihilo thinks he is just being polite because he is a very nice guy, which he is. I also got requests for other songs as soon as we were done, which I guess is a good sign. Anyways, we'll hopefully fix the problems for next time around. I had fun. The Almighty Conga Man (who was, somewhat ironically, dressed up as an almighty conga man, with the DE insignia written on his face and everything) and Nancy (who wasn't dressed at all, save for ordinary garments of course) played 2 songs very well (at least that was my opinion), and I found out that she has a really nice voice. I love how the Spanish accent comes into play when she sings. One guy also played the drums with a pencil since no drumsticks were to be found (our drummer had left by this point).
Unfortunately there weren't as many costume clad people as I thought there would be. I went as Random Thug #1 Who Gets Beat Up By Batman and was mildly disappointed when no one came as Batman. Ilana went as Kazoo Girl and played the Kazoo (who would have guessed) in a humorous way throughout the night. Ilana's mom went as a Semi-hemi didactic tri-tone super woman (I'm making that up if it wasn't clear enough; suffice to say I don't remember her proper title) and had a cape and everything. The Almighty Conga Man went as himself and was surprisingly good at it. Ex Nihilo went as the Mad Hatter, came almost unrecognizably dressed in all black with a cape and top hat. Jonah was a Russian Experimental Underwater Solder and wore a trench coat, a Russian style flapped hat and swimming goggles which made me laugh every time I saw him. My friend Chris from choir was Super Grandpa and had striped pants, a plaid old man's hat (I assume he bought it, but I don't think stores sell that kind of thing, so he must have stolen it from a homeless guy) and a towel around his neck as a cape, which apparently makes him 'super'. There were, of course, several other people there dressed as things, some others with towels, but none of whom I knew or knew and/or liked enough to mention.
Summary in seven words: I don't think I'll do one tonight.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
I aquired Bjork's new album Medula the other day from the internet, partially because it is legal for me to do so here, but mostly because I can't afford to buy the album. This is so far my favorite album of the year. I can't get enough of her near ethereal sound on this album. She uses some choir and that guy known as the "human beat box" (I can't remember his name, something odd with 2 K's in it) on one song. I think it is in a category all its own, the album that is. It isn't like most of Bjork's other stuff, I find at least though I am not as aquainted with her works as some (Ex Nihilo) are yet. I would highly recomend this album, though I would also admit that many would not enjoy it for reasons that many do not like music that doesn't fit the mould of standard music.
Speaking of music of this sort, there is an electronic music concert this Friday that I am very eager to go to. Also, I will be playing at Cabaret this Saturday with my band Doppelganger Effekt. This will be a busy weekend.
Songs of the week: Oceana, The Pleasure is All Mine, and Where is the Line by Bjork
Summary in seven words: Bjork is not actually a Human Being.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Saturday, November 06, 2004
-Skunks have the funniest way of reacting to danger, exposing their sensitive quarters (yes this happened to me on the way home, but luckily I didn't get sprayed. I would have been quite put off had I gotten sprayed).
-Biking past graveyards at high speeds during the wee hours of the night is very creepy because all the shiny headstones reflect the street lamps for a brief instance making me thing that there are actually rapists among the headstones.
-There are a lot of really great photographic opportunities at night. If only I knew how to take advantage of that fact...
-Strong Bad pumpkins are awesome
-Watching The National and drinking beer is the Canadian thing to do
-Superpowers only work when you think about them
-The bike I now ride is inherently evil
-Recording songs is fun
-I only know about 4, at least I could only think of 4 at the time, synonyms for scary. I'm sure there are many, many more.
-Clouds are awesome
-Something about Pegasus emerging from the neck of the recently decapitated Medusa
-Orion nebula is cool
-I want to look at stuff through a telescope in the hopes that they will appear better
-Poker on TV is fun to watch, especially with someone who you play poker with yourself
-My webcam no longer works
-You can forgive someone money
Thats all for now, there are many more things that were learned, but I have decided that I won't write any more down for the simple reason that a) I'm tired, b) Ilana's Mom will already have a field day pointing out all of my spelling errors up to this point, and c) it is becoming increasingly difficult to formulate sentences and to type because of a).
Summary in seven words: I learned a lot tonight. Did you?
Friday, November 05, 2004
We, by that I mean we as in the band, will be recording some of our tunes at tonights practice. Should be good. Sam's writing deteriorating....
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Song of the day/week: Ululate Plurate by Doppelganger Effekt
Monday, November 01, 2004
Halloween was fun. I dressed up as Gangster Number One from The Blackwell Conspiracy and went to a costume party. The Blackwell Conspiracy was a movie I was in this spring, playing Gangster Number One, so my costume was a bit of a joke for those involved. Unfortunately, the directors are both overseas at the moment, trying their hardest to get themselves into a country that has already kicked them out once for assuming the very thing they are trying to get in to do. They never had very good luck with the authorities, those two. They both have blogs documenting their European adventures that I will link sometime in the not too distant future. Anyways, a fun Halloween it was. I shot a Jedi fight scene between J and G that was really cool. J was dressed as Darth Maul and G was as a Jedi and they had choreographed quite the battle which was then acted out in the intersection (small town) and then in a parking lot after the cops told us to leave (I mean they weren't even using real lightsabres!?!) with me behind the camera. After they had gotten it quite well on camera, I passed off the camera to Ilana and grabbed a lightsabre. G and I then had a battle of epic proportions, me as the uber cool looking gangster (cigar, fedora et al) and he as the defender of the galaxy with two sabres (sticks) to my one. Apparently it looked really cool on film. I haven't seen it yet, but I will try to get it on the band's website when I get it if it is as nice as they say. Perhaps even colour in the sticks so they look like lightsabres, but that seems like a lot of work which I have no clue how to do. How was your Halloween?
Summary in seven words: Ever see a gangster with a lightsabre?