Saturday, July 24, 2004
For those of you who can’t see at the back, yes, Catherine is sitting on a telephone book, and no it doesn’t look like it’s helping all that much. Ladies and gentlemen and those near enough, for those of you who don't know me, my name is Sam, a complete novice at public speaking and I have this overwhelming urge to prove it to you today. I am the photographer and the clean-up crew also, so please smile when I take your picture and don’t make too much of a mess.
I met Dave, or as we have come to know him, Yeddi or Sir Eats-a-lot in grade eight when he and his family moved down here from Ottawa. Dave’s always been a fluffy sort of romantic guy at heart, not towards me of course, but occasionally he would tell me some of the things he was planning to do for what he always referred to as his ‘future wife’. He would tell me of where they would go and things he would get her… of course I won’t mention any specifics so as to not get him in trouble before they have been married a day, but one thing I will mention is a song he wrote on the piano for ‘her’ way back in High School. It was slow and romantic and from the heart and now incomplete because now that Dave actually has a wife he can’t remember how it starts.Catherine I met in elementary school where she was ironically one of the taller girls. She has always been an active girl, likes to rollerblade, run around in tiny concentric circles, that type of thing. We used to play squash every once in a while, well, I shouldn’t say we played squash so much as we went to the squash courts. The matches mostly ended up with Catherine rolling on the floor laughing, me leaning against the wall laughing and Dave walking in and wondering why nothing either of us said seemed to sound coherent.
To bring things to a conclusion, I'd like to thank you all for coming, and let me just say that if you've enjoyed listening to this speech as much as I've enjoyed making it, then I offer my most sincere apologies. Good luck to you both and I hope you have a long and happy life together.
Summary in seven words: I hate giving speeches so very much.